Really, if you're in this blogs you could see my struggling.

I just finished the 13 Reasons Why and I could say that I always have the same thoughts as Hannah Baker. I'm ready to slit my wrist but with a twist, to pull-up my veins. And also tell other people what they did to me. Because they can't forgive anymore. Because it's too late. And they will think it forever up until they die.. they will actually bring it to their grave. Because the only thing that you can only bring to the grave is your memories. Really. It's either a good one or a bad one.

I'd never knew a series would really gave a piece by piece of what I also feel. At first I thought it was overrated, and just let everyone dried of their courtyard with the 13 reasons why to be watch. So I started to plant my own. I started watching the series because it's already out of the front desks what's so hot today.

There are people really that cares about little things really. And I'm one of them. Those thank you, have a safe trip. Showing you care on me. Even on sets. Like photo-shoot I normally fix hair that is breezy because you still need to edit it in the photoshop and sometimes it will look bad. People won't notice it but you know it looks bad because it is... bad.

Actually all the shit you are up to is a story to tell or a story to be you know think about if you don't have anything to think of. That's why people are getting hard on you. It's either you share the story or you give up. You end your self. All the pressure that you have right now it was just all a test to be told to anyone. To be brag about to fill your hierarchy of needs. And also to bet your hierarchy of needs. Most of the time you will bet the hierarchy of your needs to fill it in...... to make it bigger. Why do settle for less right? 

You might think silly me. You could just tell it or do it. But there are people who are afraid of losing it. Risking it could make it worse or better. Especially if God gives you an up and down on the result of the risk you have lately. The only thing that I could say re-analyze everything and I'm pretty sure it's either a good one or you will have a loss a loss that could become a lesson.

That's why you are put up in school. get a job. have a family. and reproduce and die. We are really just the same as animal, we only reciprocate. Because everything in this world also have ends but then make it big at least? For your ego.  Lmao. It's either a good or a bad. It could be good and bad too.but this is a different kind of story.

anyway

there silly reason why am I keeping it under the table.

i think it's just that people are already burden of problems and telling more about my problem will add into them so why bother right?

lol