Lalalalalalalalalala

I got this feeling of being alone every evening and I don't how to explain it. It triggers just time to time of night and I don't know what it triggers. Is it because I became too focused on being an independent person? I actually envy people who have been in loved or the feeling of beloved.

Should I open my heart to new comings again? But to whom? him? her? what? I don't know what to choose more.

If I choose a him partner they will just basically have my inner heart to be on heat because of the pondering love they can give.