I got this feeling of being alone every evening and I don't how to explain it. It triggers just time to time of night and I don't know what it triggers. Is it because I became too focused on being an independent person? I actually envy people who have been in loved or the feeling of beloved.

Should I open my heart to new comings again? But to whom? him? her? what? I don't know what to choose more.

If I choose a him partner they will just basically have my inner heart to be on heat because of the pondering love they can give.

If I choose a her I will be drain to which I will to become a cold one.

So what would I choose? Should I choose a gender with the same gender with me? But whom? How?

This one is the most loneliest day I've been in my life. No one to talk to, no one to look at for, no one. nothing. Just me with my laptop playing a sad music to sooth everything.


How come I'm so alone? am I superbly a bitch that no one can undertake me? Or I am dwell to the past?

Which past to be exactly? I need to really get my shit together. I did get my shit together just this past few days. But how about my emotion stability?