But the more that I keep hiding these feelings I keep zoning out to what should I be doing. I have a work but do lazy shit (I mean I'm not that kind person. It's my perspective. *lol. what a lame shit*). I don't know how to react to it anymore. I've got a lot of things to say but I can't since (i think)  it's over. In the very beginning I should've put some boundaries. Boundaries that would make me feel safe and secure. Or at least give a label to it. But I didn't. Again. 

and maybe I should take a lesson out from it.

YES

Rules for me to think about:

1. If a guy tries to show a feeling that is not similar guys been doing then I should put an effort to show or make him feel that we are either friends. Or say it in the very least.

2. If a guys been chatting you (not the work kind of related thing) then at least tell them that I'm an actually flattered but give some boundaries.
3. A friend is a friend. Nothing more nothing less.

4.. And lastly, if someone tries to show some motivation. You should reciprocate of showing NOT interested. Because I don't need it (i'm lying again. please help me. lol.). I'm probably gonna loose him anyway.

So to end this. I have to put all the things that I can remember about him. The likes and dislikes.

I like how he can be a good listener.
I like how he cares about me even that we are not in the same City.
I like how he can make me giggle for our small chit-chat
I like how I can stay up late (like 6am late) just talking to things. 
I like him even he is dork as fuck.
I like him even he hates the government.
I like how he dance. He dance out of rhythm.

I don't like how he is too conceited.
I don't like how he is too self-centered.
I don't like how he doesn't care what I feel.
I don't like how he can even bare a chance to not talk to me even that I know that there is something else.
I don't like how I keep saying that there is something which is in reality there isn't.
I don't like him anymore. (I hope)