Lalalalalalalalalala

I'm planning to leave my physical body. It's getting irritating, too much on everything. Trying to suppress everything that I can do. Things that I want to do. I just want to live to what I want. I wanna go homeeeeeeeeeee. I want to take a 5 years straight sleep right now. I just want to have a moment of my self.

Is it being selfish? Is it being uncaught bullshit? I don't knowwwwwwwwwwww.

I'm actually ignoring my session with my counselor because I have of a lot things to do.

So let's define first what is existential crisis is:

An existential crisis is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether this life has any meaning, purpose, or value. This issue of the meaning and purpose of existence is the topic of the philosophical school of existentialism.
(based on wikipedia)

To cut down everything into a simplest form. It means that existential crisis is having this question in their own mind:


If you have this question in your mind. Yes!!! You are having a existential crisis!!

Most of modern relationships these days deminish this idea but for me this is one of the important thing that a person can hold on to. It's maybe unsaid rule but it is should be necessary for something else. For instance "I own that Cabinet" given such any idea that that cabinet belongs to you even without legal documents or so and just putting some label on it.

I have given a power by my beloved ancestors that I can read emotions, what do they feel, everything that is connected to that person. It usually comes when I just currently woke up and it is irritating me a lot. Specially if I didn't eat my heavy dinner and I just woke up.

I never understand why people can't do this.

The thing that I thought I was good at, I thought I was good enough. Newsflash I am not.

And I am scared.
And the reason is I don't know why.
Am I pressure?
Am I going to have a good pictures?

This is the event that I don't talk too much since:
A. I don't have money
B. I'm a lowkey person that cries easily

And by this time this kind of things are actually have basis which is facebook commentary/who post in your timeline. Is this is the thing we have now? Though I do have close friends that knows my birthday but the society itself is fucked up. Just filling up their ego with this hallucination of fake happiness.

I just have one wish. I do hope everyone became happy.
(send me gift in paypal pls. thejonaii@gmail.com)